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Destory the enemy of Pornography

Archive for the tag “porn addict”

Reaping What you Sow

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man Reaping what you sowsoweth, that shall he also reap.  Galations 6:7

You reap what you sow.  This biblical truth plays out in many areas of our lives.  Whatever you put effort & time into you will receive the benefits & effects back.

  • If you put time & effort into exercise, you will be rewarded with better health, weight loss and stronger muscles.
  • When you put time & effort into your marriage, you will see the results through better communication, more love, respect, & general harmony.

We can also reap negative things if we put our time and efforts into activities that are not wise and even destructive.

  • Those who spend much time in a bar drinking will experience hangovers, fractured relationships, and poor health.
  • If you chase women for one night stands you will reap STDs, divorce, and shame & guilt.

What about those of us who have used or use pornography?   What are we reaping with the sowing of countless hours in front of the computer?  Do you think that there are no effects to you?  What are you reaping by sowing the seeds of pornography into your life?

  • Selfishness?
  • Lust?
  • Inability to communicate deeply?
  • lost time?
  • Strife in your marriage?
  • Shame?
  • A constant focus on Sex?

The things that we reap are often not apparent to us.  It is hard to see the effects that porn has on us because it is very deeply rooted inside.  Many of us won’t act out in a way that will land us in jail or cause divorce.  Just because the effects of Pornography useage are not clear does not mean we are using it without harm.

I challenge you to think about ways that you may be effected by pornography usage.  You cannot use it without any effects on you! 

Please leave any comments, questions and further thought below.

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Where would you be today without porn?

I was pondering this question myself just yesterday:  If I had not been introduced to pornography in my early teens, what would be different in my life today?

First off you need to understand that my first introduction to pornography started me off on a journey that led to pornography addiction.  That first taste of seeing that scantily clad, beautiful woman started a fire in me that fueled my lust for many years.

If I had not been introduced to pornography at the age of 12 or 13, my life would be different today.  How so?  For starters, I would not have wasted countless hours looking at porn.  I wouldn’t have had my view of women changed from looking at them as mothers, daughters, and friends to sex objects,  and only there for my sensual satisfaction.  If I was not introduced to porn, I would know how to better relate to women.  I would have learned how to communicate with them and appreciate them as human beings with personalities and souls.  Other questions arise that seem water under the bridge – Would I have married my wife?  Would I have had enough courage to talk to that one girl I had a crush on?

Where would you be today had you not been introduced to pornography and used it?

  • Maybe you would not have lost your marriage
  • You may not have lost your job due to watching porn on the computer
  • Maybe you would not be in jail for child porn or molestation
  • Would you have a more fullfilling and deeper relationship with your spouse?
  • Would you not be such an introvert and have the guts to talk to someone of the opposite sex?
  • Maybe you wouldn’t fanticize so much and undress others with your eyes

Ask yourself this question today – What are your answers to this?

Come talk about it over on the message board:  The battleplan message board where you can talk about pornography addiction and how to get freedom!

Does a DIY approach to quitting Pornography work?

Once upon a time when I was deeply held by the grips of pornography, I decided that it was time to give this up.  I was sick of the guilt and fearful that it would be found out what I had been doing.  It was time to trash my stash and get rid of the magazines and videos.  After figuring out how to hide my stuff in the trash, I had a small feeling of victory.  You see, at this time I did not comprehend that I was addicted to the stuff.  I could quit at any time.  Pornography was just something I was playing around with.

The first few days were great.  Clean living was the way for me.  Now I feel inside like the clean-cut all American kid I was on the outside.  On to the next challenge in my life.  I can cross out my ‘quit pornography’ item on my list! 

Within the next few weeks, temptations were everywhere.  I could not get my mind off of sex.  At every turn I would see a gorgeous girl, flirt with a co-worker, or watch something on TV that would rev me up.  I needed a release from this built up sexual frustration, so I got a few magazines and was back in the game. 

This cycle was repeated many times in my teens & early twenties – binge on porn, feel guilt & shame, vow to quit, trash the stash and then jump back to the start.  What was I doing wrong?  Why did I feel so helpless against Porn? 

I was ready to give up and just learn to live in both worlds (the real world and the make believe porn world).  I knew that I couldn’t kick this habit on my own, but I did not ever want to tell anyone what I struggled with.   At that time I was going to a Bible study and we would occasionally glance the subject of keeping our eyes away from temptations.  One day, our leader announced to the men of the group that we were starting a men’s only group to address men’s issues.  Specifically- Pornography.  Wow.. I thought that I was the only guy dealing with this in my life. 

This group has been one of the biggest assets in my recovery from pornography addiction.  In this group I have found the confidential support and tools needed to get freedom.  We share our failures, victories, tips for freedom and we hold each other accountable. 

Quitting pornography is not a ‘Do It Yourself’ project.  You need the help and support of another person or a group that can be there for you and help pull you out of the much of pornography.  Pornography loses some of it’s power over you when you expose it through confession to someone. 

Places to find help:

  1. A local church – many churches have addiction recovery resources
  2. XXXchurch.com – This in an online resource for help for porn addicts
  3. SettingCaptivesFree– Setting captives free provides free online studies and gives you a mentor to communicate with.
  4. CandeoCan– CandeoCan is an in-depth program to stop using porn.  You will gain access to a whole program and get a mentor to talk with.

Don’t go it alone.  Get help today.

Forgiveness when you fail – Mercy is greater than sin

While in recovery from pornography addiction, you will fail.  No one I have ever heard of breaks free from an addiction without a relapse.  That is why its called recovery – it’s a process.

Relapses happen because we don’t follow the directions provided by our program.  Many times one of your program directions will be to call your accountability partner when you are tempted.  You don’t do it and wind up blowing through the other roadblocks that are setup to keep you from falling – disabling an Internet filter,  lingering too long on a provocative ad, allowing yourself to fantasize about sex… etc. etc. 

When you fail, there are a few things you need to do:

  1. Think about what roadblocks you blasted through
  2. Acknowledge it was your own fault and you could have stopped yourself, but didn’t
  3. Call your accountability partner and tell him what happened
  4. Seek forgiveness from God and ask Him to strengthen you to get back up and fight again
  5. Consider any new roadblocks you need to establish to tighten the security around your purity

The worst thing we can do after we fall back into pornography is to slough it off and give up.  Many times we feel like it is helpless and we will always be like this.  We don’t have to live lives in the cycle of using porn, feeling shame full and guilty, vowing to quit and then doing it all over again.

Failure is a speed bump on the road to recovery.  Don’t let failure turn you around 180 degrees back to pornville!

God’s mercy and forgiveness are most evident when we fail and come to him with humble hearts.  His love will surround you and you will feel forgiven. 

After feeling His forgiveness you will know that He will be with you on your journey and that He wants you to live a life of purity.  His mercy is better than all the emptiness and temporary pleasures that pornography provides.  His love and mercy are forever.

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