Battle Plan – Get your plan to quit pornography

Destory the enemy of Pornography

Archive for the category “trash the stash”

Does a DIY approach to quitting Pornography work?

Once upon a time when I was deeply held by the grips of pornography, I decided that it was time to give this up.  I was sick of the guilt and fearful that it would be found out what I had been doing.  It was time to trash my stash and get rid of the magazines and videos.  After figuring out how to hide my stuff in the trash, I had a small feeling of victory.  You see, at this time I did not comprehend that I was addicted to the stuff.  I could quit at any time.  Pornography was just something I was playing around with.

The first few days were great.  Clean living was the way for me.  Now I feel inside like the clean-cut all American kid I was on the outside.  On to the next challenge in my life.  I can cross out my ‘quit pornography’ item on my list! 

Within the next few weeks, temptations were everywhere.  I could not get my mind off of sex.  At every turn I would see a gorgeous girl, flirt with a co-worker, or watch something on TV that would rev me up.  I needed a release from this built up sexual frustration, so I got a few magazines and was back in the game. 

This cycle was repeated many times in my teens & early twenties – binge on porn, feel guilt & shame, vow to quit, trash the stash and then jump back to the start.  What was I doing wrong?  Why did I feel so helpless against Porn? 

I was ready to give up and just learn to live in both worlds (the real world and the make believe porn world).  I knew that I couldn’t kick this habit on my own, but I did not ever want to tell anyone what I struggled with.   At that time I was going to a Bible study and we would occasionally glance the subject of keeping our eyes away from temptations.  One day, our leader announced to the men of the group that we were starting a men’s only group to address men’s issues.  Specifically- Pornography.  Wow.. I thought that I was the only guy dealing with this in my life. 

This group has been one of the biggest assets in my recovery from pornography addiction.  In this group I have found the confidential support and tools needed to get freedom.  We share our failures, victories, tips for freedom and we hold each other accountable. 

Quitting pornography is not a ‘Do It Yourself’ project.  You need the help and support of another person or a group that can be there for you and help pull you out of the much of pornography.  Pornography loses some of it’s power over you when you expose it through confession to someone. 

Places to find help:

  1. A local church – many churches have addiction recovery resources
  2. XXXchurch.com – This in an online resource for help for porn addicts
  3. SettingCaptivesFree– Setting captives free provides free online studies and gives you a mentor to communicate with.
  4. CandeoCan– CandeoCan is an in-depth program to stop using porn.  You will gain access to a whole program and get a mentor to talk with.

Don’t go it alone.  Get help today.

Sex addiction as teen turns into crime as adult

Man who became addicted to sex chat and porn as a teen now faces criminal charges.

The article linked to above is out of fresno California and is about a 20 yr old man who is facing charges of solicitation of a minor.  Apparently, this young man started into explicit chat rooms with other 14 yr olds in his teens.  They would talk dirty and exchange nude photos.  Now he is 20 and still doing the sex chat, but got caught by an undercover cop posing as a minor.  He faces criminal charges for seeking minors out online.

I have two things to say about this.  First off, where were his parents and why did they give him free range on the internet?  Parents:  We need to protect our children from themselves on the internet.  It is our job to make sure their internet access is filtered and monitored.  As teens, they are bound to come across porn or go in search of it.  Don’t give them the opportunity.  Please filter their access and monitor what sites they visit.  I highly recommend Covenant Eyes filtering and accountability software (ad in the right column).  You will be able to see what your kids do online and also cut out access to porn. 

My next point on this story is the fact that addictions to porn start early and are hard to break.  This guy started at 14 and now at 20 he gets busted and exposed.  No one else knew of his life online and the addiction that had taken over in those six years.  It could happen to any of us or our kids if we aren’t carefull.  Our kids could be cultivating an appetite for porn if we allow them unfiltered and unmonitored internet access or access to cable/satelite pay channels.  Do you have any porn your kids could stumble upon?   Don’t leave the door open to porn for your kids!  Filter the access, block cable channels, and get rid of your porn videos & magazines. 

Are you an adult and endulge in porn?  Do you think you have it under control and will never go as far as this guy in the story?  Be carefull if you believe this!  Porn will take you farther than you want to go to places you never imagined you would be.  One day you will find yourself doing things you never intended to do! 

Please consider how easily one can become trapped in porn.  Don’t give your children the chance to get involved in it!  Put up protection for them.  Don’t let yourself get carried away by it!  Protect yourself and seek help if you think you may be addicted to pornography.

Hopelessly in love with porn… porn is a fungus

I feel hopeless.  I have tried to quit a hundred times, but it hasn’t worked.  I don’t think I will ever be able to quit using pornography.  It’s something I am going to have to live with. You are probably feeling this or have felt this way if you are reading this.  I can identify with this feeling.  

Throughout my teens and early twenties, I must have quit 30 times.  You know what quitting means right? Quitting means trashing your stash. Throwing out your magazines and videos or erasing the files off your computer and cancelling your membership to the porn site.  After trashing the stash I would be good for a few weeks. “I got this thing licked!” I would think.  Then something would happen that would pull me right back in. I would see a bikini model or something on television that would divert my thoughts into the sexual fantasy world.  I would then have to have some porn. I was out to get another magazine, video or computer file. 

This cycle was repeated over and over:  Porn – guilt & shame – trashing the stash – overwhelming temptation – Porn …. I was to the point where I felt I would never kick the habit and would just have to learn to manage it. I could not just manage it. Porn is not manageable! Something about porn makes it manage you. You are slave to it.  Can you play with fire and not get burned? Can you handle a poisonous snake and not get bitten?  Well, you can’t dabble in a little bit of porn and not get drawn into it’s dark world.  That helplessness you are feeling is nothing unique.  There are many others just like you who are secretly dying to get out of the grips of pornography.  They, just like you, are full of guilt and shame and don’t know where to turn. 

We know using porn is wrong, but we like it so much that it has a hold on us we can’t shake. We don’t have anyone close enough to us that we can confide in because we fear they will think we are perverts.  So we sit here by ourselves feeling hopeless.  The first step in breaking the chains of pornography is to share your struggles with someone. You need to stop living in fear of what others will think of you.  Now I am not saying you need to tell just anyone! You need to pick someone you trust who is also mature and wise.  Think about it and pray about it.  If you cannot think of someone, call your pastor, or a counselor. Seek out a recovery group locally. (like SA – sexaholics anonymous). Porn is a fungus. It grows in the dark.  It dies when exposed to the light.  If you continue to hide your addiction, the roots grow deeper.  If you seek help and get it out in the open, it will weaken and start to lose its power over you.

I admitted I was addicted to pornography at a men’s Bible study. The feeling of liberation after exposing my secret sin was incredible. Instead of being looked down upon critically, I was surrounded by men who thanked me for sharing something they struggled with as well. There are many of us around who hide our addiction and then hide behind the mask others see. Only when we let our sin made know will we begin to have victory over it.

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