Once upon a time when I was deeply held by the grips of pornography, I decided that it was time to give this up. I was sick of the guilt and fearful that it would be found out what I had been doing. It was time to trash my stash and get rid of the magazines and videos. After figuring out how to hide my stuff in the trash, I had a small feeling of victory. You see, at this time I did not comprehend that I was addicted to the stuff. I could quit at any time. Pornography was just something I was playing around with.
The first few days were great. Clean living was the way for me. Now I feel inside like the clean-cut all American kid I was on the outside. On to the next challenge in my life. I can cross out my ‘quit pornography’ item on my list!
Within the next few weeks, temptations were everywhere. I could not get my mind off of sex. At every turn I would see a gorgeous girl, flirt with a co-worker, or watch something on TV that would rev me up. I needed a release from this built up sexual frustration, so I got a few magazines and was back in the game.
This cycle was repeated many times in my teens & early twenties – binge on porn, feel guilt & shame, vow to quit, trash the stash and then jump back to the start. What was I doing wrong? Why did I feel so helpless against Porn?
I was ready to give up and just learn to live in both worlds (the real world and the make believe porn world). I knew that I couldn’t kick this habit on my own, but I did not ever want to tell anyone what I struggled with. At that time I was going to a Bible study and we would occasionally glance the subject of keeping our eyes away from temptations. One day, our leader announced to the men of the group that we were starting a men’s only group to address men’s issues. Specifically- Pornography. Wow.. I thought that I was the only guy dealing with this in my life.
This group has been one of the biggest assets in my recovery from pornography addiction. In this group I have found the confidential support and tools needed to get freedom. We share our failures, victories, tips for freedom and we hold each other accountable.
Quitting pornography is not a ‘Do It Yourself’ project. You need the help and support of another person or a group that can be there for you and help pull you out of the much of pornography. Pornography loses some of it’s power over you when you expose it through confession to someone.
Places to find help:
- A local church – many churches have addiction recovery resources
- XXXchurch.com – This in an online resource for help for porn addicts
- SettingCaptivesFree– Setting captives free provides free online studies and gives you a mentor to communicate with.
- CandeoCan– CandeoCan is an in-depth program to stop using porn. You will gain access to a whole program and get a mentor to talk with.
Don’t go it alone. Get help today.