Read this:  Pornography and physical illness- How porn almost killed me.

Many people seize the opportunity that the holidays and time off bring to binge on porn.

Read here on the article: Pornography Binge during the holidays, tips to help.

This book was written from the point of view of a regular guy like you and I.  It is very practical in outlining some strategies you can use to break the addiction.  Even though there is a spiritual side included, it is not too heavy to the point of telling you the only thing you need to do is have Jesus.

Please give the book a read yourself and see if you agree with my assessment.  I have to admit to many instances of identifying with the points he made in the book.  For the most part I agree with his approach as to starting on the journey of breaking an addiction to porn.

A nice addition to this book is the resource section at the end.  His book is a good start towards freedom and using the resources at the end you will be able to get further professional help if needed.

Go download the book now!

Covenant Eyes Accountability Software

The Covenant Eyes accountability and filter software review.  Covenant Eyes is a software program  which loads on your desktop similar to other accountability & filtering software. In contrast to X3Watch, Covenant Eyes is not free. You’ll pay a monthly price according to what services you utilize and how many accounts you require.

The number of user accounts you choose will depend on how you want to police the online world within your house. We have a single account on my home pc and it instantly logs on when my home pc starts up. Under this one account, every computer users within my home will be subject to the same level of internet blocking and accountability reporting. This works best for me, however may not in your case. Sometimes the best tactic is one account for the kids and another for the adults. When you have a couple of account, every account will have a separate sign in to use the internet.

There are two main functions of covenant eyes: Internet filtering and Accountability. You’ve got the choice to run filtering, accountability or both.

The filter definitely will block pornographic and questionable websites. You’ll be able to establish the level of the filter based on the user if you set up separate user accounts. It’s also possible to designate websites to always block or always approve. This is certainly superb if you prefer a stricter level of filter, but want to permit a couple of websites that will normally be blocked at that filter level. The filter additionally gives you to be able to permit a user to access the internet at certain times of the day and for a certain total quantity of time. This will work especially well if you would like restrict the total time spent on the internet or prevent late night internet surfing while they ought to be sleeping!

The accountability component to the program will log all of your visited websites. This report is accessible to both you and your accountability partner on the internet through covenant eyes’ website. Covenant eyes rates each site you visit. The rating is done instantly and scans a web page just before it loads. A low scored website means its harmless, but a higher scored website usually means you might want to have a look into what it is. Your report will only list higher scoring websites to keep the report practical and to not alarm the user. A synopsis at the top of the report will inform the user at a glance whether there was anything to be concerned about for the reporting time period selected. Your accountability report will also specify any questionable searches conducted. If someone was inquiring about ‘bikini photos’ they would certainly be listed on this report.

One unique feature of covenant eyes is the panic button. The panic button is accessible for the user to click in case they are overcome with the urge to view pornography something like that on the web. The panic button will disable your internet connection and prohibit any websites to load until you can call the Covenant eyes hotline and have them turn it back on. It is a great feature that permits an individual to calm down return reality before returning on the internet. If temptation is simply too much for you to deal with the panic button is there for you.

My feelings about covenant eyes are really good. The only downside in my viewpoint is that often pages take an extra second or two to load , but when i consider the benefits and think back to the days of dial-up, I can accept this. I really like the adaptability of the filter, the accountability reporting and the panic button. I highly recommend paying the monthly charge for both filter and accountability services. The accountability report is much better than X3Watch simply because of the scoring system and the fact that a complete record of sites can be analyzed. The filtering is very flexible and allows you to police the use of the internet much easier than other ways. I believe that my children and I are protected well from obscenities. The accountability report is an added layer of defense should my wife or I become tempted to visit a website we don’t want the other to know about.

This marathon session had come on the heals of sobriety for two weeks! 

Back when I was in the depths of my own addiction to pornography, I had gone through similar cycles.  I would abstain from porn for a week, then dive back in for another week.  Sobriety for two weeks then it was gone in one hour!

I would go as far as to throw out all my magazines & videos.  “I am finished with porn.  No more.  I don’t need it and I don’t want it”

Then a week or two later I would get new materials and go at it.  I would think to myself – “I don’t have a girlfriend, so this is my outlet”  “It’s completely normal for men to use pornography.”

I had never ever considered that I was addicted to porn.  I always thought it was something I could control.  I was wrong.  Porn had a huge hold on me.  It would call to me through every ad on TV, through every attractive women who walked by, and even in my dreams! 

If you find yourself trying to stop using pornography, but keep going back to it, you are probably addicted.  Check out the signs of porn addiction and see if you can identify with any of these points. 

Are you struggling to break the pornography habit?  Leave me a comment below – It won’t be published for anyone but me to see.

My answer to that question is yes, but you can’t expect it to work on the first try.  Going cold turkey and never looking back is the right approach.  (Read my post & follow the video on Radical Amputation approach to quitting pornography)  With pornography, it is not possible to use it here and there and decrease you dosage gradually.  We have simply become out of control with our usage.  Pornography grabs a hold of you and controls you. 

Alcoholics & drug users can attest to the same situation of how their addictions ran their lives and caused their lives to spin out of control.  Going  cold turkey is the only way to break free from the very thing that harms us.  You can’t play with a little bit of fire and not get burned.  Fire is fire and even a little bit does you harm.

You will experience symtoms of withdrawal – physical & mental.  You will be extremely tempted to justify even the shortest peek at some porn.  You will inevitably slip up.  Everyone has relapses during their recovery process.  Here is some advice:

• Don’t give up – get back up after you fall.  The difference between winners and losers in this battle is that the winners got back up one more time than the loser who gave up.
• Don’t play around the edges of pornography – no swimsuit models, underwear models, erotica, provocative ads, suggestive radio shows – steer away from the edge or you will fall into the pit!
• Know what triggers your urges for pornography - We all have our weak moments, moods, and situations.  Identify them, avoid & counteract them.
• Reach out during your weak moments – Call your sponsor or accountability partner.  An accountability partner is there to help pull you through times of temptation.

Go cold turkey!  The temptations and failures will come.  Don’t let them get the best of you.  Get back up, dust off and press forward.  Eventually, these times of temptation and failure will come further and further apart.  You will get to the point that Pornography will take its last finger off of you and let you go!!  It will cease to control you!! 

Please leave your comments below.  If you need to ask me any questions regarding pornography addiction, you can contact me through the link in this sentence.

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap

You reap what you sow.  This biblical truth plays out in many areas of our lives.  Whatever you put effort & time into you will receive the benefits & effects back.

• If you put time & effort into exercise, you will be rewarded with better health, weight loss and stronger muscles.
• When you put time & effort into your marriage, you will see the results through better communication, more love, respect, & general harmony.

We can also reap negative things if we put our time and efforts into activities that are not wise and even destructive.

• Those who spend much time in a bar drinking will experience hangovers, fractured relationships, and poor health.
• If you chase women for one night stands you will reap STDs, divorce, and shame & guilt.

What about those of us who have used or use pornography?   What are we reaping with the sowing of countless hours in front of the computer?  Do you think that there are no effects to you?  What are you reaping by sowing the seeds of pornography into your life?

• Selfishness?
• Lust?
• Inability to communicate deeply?
• lost time?
• Strife in your marriage?
• Shame?
• A constant focus on Sex?

The things that we reap are often not apparent to us.  It is hard to see the effects that porn has on us because it is very deeply rooted inside.  Many of us won’t act out in a way that will land us in jail or cause divorce.  Just because the effects of Pornography useage are not clear does not mean we are using it without harm.

I challenge you to think about ways that you may be effected by pornography usage.  You cannot use it without any effects on you! 

Please leave any comments, questions and further thought below.

First off you need to understand that my first introduction to pornography started me off on a journey that led to pornography addiction.  That first taste of seeing that scantily clad, beautiful woman started a fire in me that fueled my lust for many years.

If I had not been introduced to pornography at the age of 12 or 13, my life would be different today.  How so?  For starters, I would not have wasted countless hours looking at porn.  I wouldn’t have had my view of women changed from looking at them as mothers, daughters, and friends to sex objects,  and only there for my sensual satisfaction.  If I was not introduced to porn, I would know how to better relate to women.  I would have learned how to communicate with them and appreciate them as human beings with personalities and souls.  Other questions arise that seem water under the bridge – Would I have married my wife?  Would I have had enough courage to talk to that one girl I had a crush on?

Where would you be today had you not been introduced to pornography and used it?

• Maybe you would not have lost your marriage
• You may not have lost your job due to watching porn on the computer
• Maybe you would not be in jail for child porn or molestation
• Would you have a more fullfilling and deeper relationship with your spouse?
• Would you not be such an introvert and have the guts to talk to someone of the opposite sex?
• Maybe you wouldn’t fanticize so much and undress others with your eyes

Ask yourself this question today – What are your answers to this?

Come talk about it over on the message board:  The battleplan message board where you can talk about pornography addiction and how to get freedom!

The other day, the kids and I went to the library to do our biweekly drop off and pick up of new materials.   When we reached the library we realized that the power was out.  They were still open for business, but we were among only the handful of people there. 

While my kids looked for books and movies, I sat in a comfy chair and realized how quiet it was.  Libraries are normally quiet places, but there was an absence of that white noise we live with daily.  Computers, lighting, HVAC, copy machines, and other little things were not powered up and it was noticeable.  I enjoyed the quiet! It was peaceful and I was able to think clearer and relax easier.   

We deal with many kinds of white noise that is out of our control.  Many of the modern convieniences work in the background 24/7.  These devices intrude on the peace that we sometimes need.

There are also many things that we put on or take in intentionally that intrude in our lives and help form our moods and thoughts - Radio, TV, the internet, newspapers, magazines… etc.  We have control over when we read or turn on the radio, but many of us do this without considering the cost.

Consider the fact that your thoughts, ideas, and emotions are easily influenced by what you consume each day.  For example:  recently I heard a radio talk show on the topic of a website that matches people who want to have an affair.  The interview with the owner and the ensuing conversation about adultery made my mind wander into thoughts that I should not entertain.  I changed the station and then thought about the fact that this show led me down the road to entertain thoughts of adultery.  If I had not listened to this show, I would not have even considered the scenarios that rolled through my mind.  Another example was when I picked up one of the women’s magazines that my wife had laying around.  I found a Q&A column on sex advice. That article caused my mind to wander into sex scenarios and I had to stop myself.  I was setting myself up to sin in the future by letting my guard down.  Had I continued on this road, I would have relapsed into pornography.  It is amazing to me how easily media can lead us into impure thoughts, rationalization of sin, and sometimes to act out in sin. 

The daily assault on our minds comes from every angle.  We need to carefully filter what we see, hear and read everyday.  If you struggle with impure thoughts, don’t listen raunchy radio shows, read questionable magazine articles or watch sexually suggestive television.  Our media intake works in the reverse as well.  If you want to affirm and build up your values and beliefs, your media intake must agree:  Read the Bible, watch wholesome television that confirms your values, listen to radio that agrees with your values. 

There also comes a time when you must ‘unplug’ totally and get away from all forms of media influences.  Quiet times to reflect and pray are necessary and beneficial.  I believe that the white noise and the media bombardment everyday wear us down and make us tired and easily distracted from hearing God. 

Today try to be conscience of the assault on your mind.  Get away today and unplug from the white noise and media influences.